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Thirty things porno producers would have us believe...
1.
Women wear high heels to bed.
2. Men are never impotent.
3. When going down on a woman 10 secs is more than satisfactory.
4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not
scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.
5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.
6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.
7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.
8. Women always orgasm when men do.
9. A blowjob will always get a woman off a speeding fine.
10. All women are noisy fucks.
11. People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo
in the background.
12. Those tits are real.
13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his
half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's arse.
14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.
15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other. (and the girl
isn't disgusted!)
16. Double penetration makes women smile.
17. Asian men don't exist.
18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes,
the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your
cock in his girlfriend's mouth.
19. There's a plot.
20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by
giving her a gentle slap on the arse
21. Nurses suck patients cocks.
22. Men always pull out.
23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend,
she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you.
24. Women never have headaches... or periods.
25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind
her to "suck it".
26. Arseholes are clean.
27. A man ejaculating on a womans arse is a satisfying result for all
parties concerned.
28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers
and find a cock there.
29. Men don't have to beg.
and finally...
30.
When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on
the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.
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