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3 Chinese Tortures.
A young man is wandering, lost, in a forest when he comes upon a small
house. Knocking on the door he is greeted by an ancient looking Chinese
man with a long grey beard.
"I'm lost," said the young man. "Can you put me up for the night?"
"Certainly", the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much
as lay a finger on my daughter I will inflict upon you the three chinese
tortures of legend, the worst known to man".
"O.K." said the man, and entered the house.
Over dinner, the daughter came down stairs. She was young, beautiful, had
a cracking pair of knockers and a body to die for. She was obviously
begging for it from the young man as she couldn't keep her eyes off him
during the whole meal. With great difficulty and remembering the old man's
warning, he ignored her blatant advances and went up to bed alone.
Trying to fall asleep, his raging hard-on told him he could bear it no
longer and he sneaked into her room for a night of passion. He was careful
to keep the shagging as quiet as possible so the old man wouldn't hear,
and at dawn, he crept back to his bed, exhausted but happy.
He awoke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large
rock lying on him with a note on it that read: "Chinese Torture 1..large
rock on Chest "
'Well, that's pretty shite', he thought. 'But if that's the best the old
man can do, then I don't have much to worry about.' He picked the boulder
up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder out.
As he did so, he noticed another note on the window frame that read:
"Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle In a panic he glanced down
and saw that the rope was already close to becoming taut. Deciding that a
few broken bones were better than castration, he jumped out of the window
after the boulder.
As he plummeted towards the ground he saw a large sign on the ground that
read: "Chinese Torture 3 ..... Right testicle tied to bed post."
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