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Arthur and Gawain
Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a
neighbouring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him, but was moved by
Arthur's youthful happiness. So he offered him his freedom, as long as he
could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure
out the answer. If, after a year, he still had no answer, he would be
killed. The question was: "What do women really want?"
Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and, to
young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. Since it was better than
death, however, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by
year's end. He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everybody: - the
princesses, the prostitutes, the priests, the wise men, the court jester.
In all, he spoke with everyone but no one could give him a satisfactory
answer. What most people did tell him was to consult the old witch, as
only she would know the answer.
The price would be high, since the witch was famous throughout the kingdom
for the exorbitant prices she charged.
The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no alternative but to talk
to the witch. She agreed to answer his question, but he'd have to accept
her price first: the old witch wanted to marry Gawain, the most noble of
the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend !
Young Arthur was horrified: she was hunchbacked and awfully hideous, had
only one tooth, smelled like sewage water, often made obscene noises. He
had never run across such a repugnant creature. He refused to force his
friend to marry her and have to endure such a burden. Gawain, upon
learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He told him that nothing was
too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of
the Round Table. Hence, their wedding was proclaimed, and the witch
answered Arthur's question: What a woman really wants is to be able to be
in charge of her own life.
Everyone instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that
Arthur's life would be spared. And so it went. The neighbouring monarch
spared Arthur's life and granted him total freedom.
What a wedding Gawain and the witch had ! Arthur was torn between relief
and anguish. Gawain was proper as always, gentle and courteous. The old
witch put her worst manners on display. She ate with her hands, belched
and farted, and made everyone uncomfortable. The wedding night approached:
Gawain, steeling himself for a horrific night, entered the bedroom. What a
sight awaited him ! The most beautiful woman he'd ever seen lay before him
!
Gawain was astounded and asked what had happened. The beauty replied that
since he had been so kind to her (when she'd been so hideous), half the
time she would be her horrible, deformed self, and the other half, she
would be her beautiful maiden self. Which would he want her to be during
the day and which during the night ?
What a cruel question! Gawain began to think of his predicament: during
the day a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the
privacy of his home, an old spooky witch ? Or would he prefer having by
day a hideous witch, but by night a beautiful woman to enjoy many intimate
moments with ?
(What would *you* do ?)
Noble Gawain replied that he would let her choose for herself. Upon
hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time,
because he had respected her and had let her be in charge of her own life.
What is the moral of this story?
The moral is that it doesn't matter if your woman is pretty or ugly, smart
or dumb. Underneath it all, she's still a witch.
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