
Tired of constantly being broke, and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a
young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large
Insurance policy on his wife (with himself as the beneficiary), and
arranging to have her killed.
A "friend of a friend" put him in touch with an infamous underworld
figure, who went by the name of "Artie." Artie explained to the husband
that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was 5,000 quid. The husband
said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn't have any cash
on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money.
Artie insisted on being paid something up front.
The man opened up his wallet, displaying the single pound coin that rested
inside.
Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, and reluctantly agreed to accept the
quid as down payment for the dirty deed.
A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Sainsbury's.
There, he surprised her in the produce department, and proceeded to
strangle her with his gloved hands.
As the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath, and slumped to the
floor, the manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto
the scene.
Unwilling to leave any witnesses behind, Artie had no choice but to
strangle the produce manager as well. Unknown to Artie, the entire
proceedings were captured by hidden cameras and observed by the store's
security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught and
arrested before he could leave the store.
Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the sordid
plan, including his financial arrangements with the hapless husband. And
that is why, the next day in the newspaper, the headline declared:
(It's a beauty) (wait for it)
"ARTIE CHOKES TWO FOR A POUND AT SAINSBURY'S."
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