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Beer vs. Pussy - A Comparative Analysis:

A beer is always wet.
A pussy needs encouragement.
Advantage: Beer

A beer tastes horrible served hot.
A pussy tastes better served hot.
Advantage: Pussy

Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied.
Having an ice cold pussy makes you Hillary Clinton.
Advantage: Beer

Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones.
Pussy does not.
Advantage: Push

If you get a hair in your teeth consuming pussy, you are not disgusted.
Advantage: Pussy

24 beers come in a box.
A pussy is a box you can come in.
Advantage: Pussy

Too much head makes you mad at the person giving you a beer.
Advantage: Pussy

Beer is brewed with yeast, yet it is still edible.
Advantage: Beer

If you come home smelling like beer, your wife may get mad.
If you come home smelling like pussy, she will definitely get mad.
Advantage: Beer

6 beers in a night and you better not drive.
6 pussies in a night and you have done all the driving you need.
Advantage: Pussy

Buy too much beer and you will get fat.
Buy too much pussy and you will get poor.
Advantage: Push

It is socially acceptable to have a beer in the stands at a football game.
You are a legend if you have a pussy in the stands at a football game.
Advantage: Pussy

If a cop smells beer on your breath, you are going to get a breathalyzer.
If a cop smells pussy on your breath, you are going to get a high five.
Advantage: Pussy

With beer, bigger is better.
Advantage: Beer

Wearing a condom does not make a beer any less enjoyable.
Advantage: Beer

Pussy can make you see God.
Beer can make you see the porcelain god.
Advantage: Pussy

If you think all day about the next pussy you will have, you are normal.
If you think all day about your next beer, you are an alcoholic.
Advantage: Pussy

Peeling labels off of beers is fun.
Peeling panties off of pussy is more fun.
Advantage: Pussy

If you try to snag a beer at work, you get fired.
If you try to snag a pussy at work, you get hit with sexual harassment.
Advantage: Push

If you suddenly drop a beer, it may break. If you suddenly drop a pussy, it may hunt you down like the dog you are.
Advantage: Beer

If you change to another beer, your old brand will gladly have you back.
Advantage: Beer

The best pussy you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it.
Advantage: Pussy

The worst pussy you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it.
Advantage: Beer

Bad beer: Schlitz, PBR, Old Swill.
Bad pussy: Roseanne, Janet Reno, Madeline Albright.
Advantage: Push

Good beer: Samuel Adams, Sierra Nevada, Pete's Wicked Winter Brew.
Good pussy: Almost all but the above.
Advantage Pussy

The government taxes beer.
Advantage: Pussy

It's a close call, but the numbers never lie.
Advantage: Pussy
 

 
 

 

 

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