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The Buffalo Theory.
I knew it. Proof at last...
A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when
the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that
are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole,
because the general speed and health of the whole is maintained or even
improved by the regular culling of the weakest members.
In much the same way, the human brain can operate only as fast as the
slowest brain cells through which the electrical signals pass.
Recent epidemiological studies have shown that while excessive intake of
alcohol kills off brain cells, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain
cells first.
Thus, regular consumption of beer helps eliminate the weaker cells,
constantly making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. The
result of this in-depth study verifies and validates the causal link
between all-weekend parties and job related performance. It also explains
why, after a few short years of leaving a university and getting married,
most professionals cannot keep up with the performance of the new
graduates.
Only those few that stick to the strict regimen of voracious alcoholic
consumption can maintain the intellectual levels that they achieve during
their college years.
So, this is a call to arms. As our country is losing its technological
edge, we must not shudder in our homes. Get back into the bars. Quaff that
pint. Your company and country need you to be at your peak, and you
shouldn't deny yourself the career that you could have. Take life by the
bottle and be all that you can be.
Or, put another way:
BUFFALO THEORY
According to, Cliff Clavin from �Cheers�
�Well ya see Norm, it�s like this...A herd of buffalo can only move as
fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the
slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural
selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and
health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the
weakest members.�
�In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the
slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we all know, kills
brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells
first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker
brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That�s
why you always feel smarter after a few beers.�
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