Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

I love cats ... they taste just like chicken

Cover me. I'm changing lanes.

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools

Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.

Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let him sleep

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather ... ... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...

MONTANA -- At least our cows are sane!

I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an IDIOT!

Friends don't let Friends drive Naked.

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

Where there's a will, I want to be in it!

If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?

It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

I souport publik edekasion

The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.

We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated.

Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.

I killed a 6-pack just to watch it die.

Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off.