"Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by every good looking model in the magazine!"

What a bunch of bullsh*t.

Basically, this message is a big F**K YOU to all the people out there who have nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mail forwards.

Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing a chain that was started by Peter in 5AD and brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower.

F**k them.

If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 10 of your closest friends, and his poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a penny from some omniscient being" forwards about 90 times.

I don't f*****g care.

Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to by sending out these forwards. Chances are, it's your own unpopularity.

The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it.  If it's funny, send it on.

Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth who has been tied to the ass of a dead elephant for 27 years and whose only salvation is the 5 pence per letter he'll receive if you forward this email.

Now forward this to everyone you know.

Otherwise, tomorrow morning your underwear will turn carnivorous and
will consume your genitals.

Have a nice day.