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Best Comeback Line
This was in the Washington Post. The title of the article was "Best
Comeback Line Ever"
In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white
male, resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38p.m. On Friday.
Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behaviour, public
indecency, and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County courthouse on
Monday.
The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he decided to
stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no
one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in
a phone interview. Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side
of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his
purposes, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need.”
"I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident
embarrassment. In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice a
Gwinnett County police car approaching and was unaware of his audience
until officer Brenda Taylor approached him.
It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said Officer Taylor. "I
walked up to (Lawrence) and he's...just working away at this pumpkin.”
Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence. "I
just went up and said, "Excuse me sir, but do you realise that you are
screwing a pumpkin? “ He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was
there, and then looked me straight in the face and said, 'A pumpkin?
Damn...is it midnight already?"
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