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Exercise is Bad For You.
It is well documented that for every minute you exercise, you add a minute to your life. This enables you, at 85 years of age, to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at £5000 per month!
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. Now she's 97 years old and we don't know where she is!
The only reason I would take up exercising is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
I joined a health club last year and spent about 400 quid. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up.
I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.
I like long walks... especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.
If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.
And last, but not least, I don't exercise because it makes the ice jump
right out of my glass!
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