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Farmer and Pigs
A farmer buys several pigs, hoping to breed
them for ham, bacon, etc.
After several weeks, he notices that none of the pigs are getting pregnant
and calls the vet for help.
The vet tells the farmer that he should try artificial insemination.
The farmer doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not
wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when
the pigs are pregnant.
The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and will, instead,
lay down and wallow in the mud when they are pregnant.
The farmer hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion
that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the pigs. So, he
loads the pigs into his truck, drives them out into the woods, has sex
with them all, brings them back and goes to bed.
Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the pigs. Seeing that they are all
still standing around, he concludes that the first try didn't take effect,
and loads them into the truck again. He drives them out to the woods,
bangs each pig twice for good measure, brings them back and goes to bed.
Next morning, he wakes to find the pigs still just standing around. "One
more try," he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up and drive them
out to the woods. He spends all day shagging the pigs and, upon returning
home, falls listlessly into bed.
The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look at the
pigs. He asks his wife to look out and tell him if the pigs are laying in
the mud.
"No," she says, "they are all in the truck and one of them is honking the
horn."
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