Gary Glitter was on a ship with 100 boy scouts and 100 girl guides when it hit an iceberg and started to sink.

The captain announced "We're sinking! Everyone abandon ship!"

Gary Glitter asked, "What about the children?"

The captain replied, "F**k the children!"

Gary Glitter looked around eagerly and said "Do we have time?"

----------------

Q. What's the difference between greyhound racing and Gary Glitter?
A. The greyhounds wait for the hare.

Q. What is the worst thing about being Gary Glitter?
A. You have to go to bed before 7.00

Q. How do you know when it is bedtime at the Glitter residence?
A. When the big hand touches the small hand

Q. Have you heard about Gary Glitter's New Book?
A. It's called, "The In's and Out's of Child Rearing

-------------

A young boy and Gary Glitter are out at night, walking towards the forest. The boy says, "It's dark! I don't like it! I'm scared!"
Gary Glitter says, "You're scared! I've got to walk back out of here on my own!"

--------------

Gary Glitter is sitting in his living room surfing the internet on his laptop. All of a sudden, the door of the apartment whips open and his girlfriend storms through. She screams, "You f***ing asshole!" and she heads into the bedroom.

Stunned, Gary flips off the computer and walks toward the bedroom, wondering, "Now what have I done?" Inside the bedroom he finds the girl furiously packing a suitcase.

He asks her what's up. She responds with a hiss, "My therapist says that I should leave you and that you're a paedophile!" Gary responds, "Wow, you're pretty smart for an 8 year old."