In the beginning, God
created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli,
cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds,
so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and
Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?" And
Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it, add some
sprinkles and some nuts and whipped cream." And they gained 10 pounds. And
Satan smiled.
And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that
Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and
sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size
14.
So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented
Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side.
And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.
God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in
which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and
chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more
weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.
God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake,"
and said, "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and named it
"Devil's Food."
God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those
extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would
not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and
cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.
Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with
nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy
center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.
God then gave lean beef s o that Man might consume fewer calories and
still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent
double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?" And Man
replied, "Yes! And super size them!" And Satan said, "It is good." And Man
went into cardiac arrest.
God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
Then Satan created the NHS.
Thought for the day ....
There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than
on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large
elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no
recollection of what to do with them.
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