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Microsoft Should Make Cars,
General Motors Should Make Software.
At a recent computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer
industry with the auto industry and stated:
"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we
would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the
gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release
stating the following: "If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we
would be driving cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy
a new car.
3. Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you
would accept this, restart, and drive on.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your
car to shut down and refuse to restart; in which case you would have to
reinstall the engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought 'Car95'
or 'CarNT.' Then you would have to buy more seats.
6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was more
reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only
run on five percent of the roads.
7. The oil, water, temperature and alternator warning lights would be
replaced by a single 'general car fault' warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same butt size.
9. The airbag system would say 'Are you sure?' before going off.
10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out
and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle,
turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand
McNally Road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need
them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately
cause the car's performance to diminish by 50 per cent or more.
12. Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn
how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in
the same manner as the old car.
13. You'd press the 'Start' button to shut off the engine.
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