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What if Bill Gates Built a Car...
The Microsoft Rocket


So you climb into your new Microsoft Rocket.

You turn the key. A Head-Up Display (HUD) on the windshield lights up with the following message:

Customer:>

Baffled, you open the owner's manual and look up "Starting your new Microsoft Rocket." The book says that when you see Customer:>, you should type the word AUTOS and hit the horn button. You do, and the windshield turns white, and little pictures start forming all over the windshield, about 1 per second, until the windshield is so full of them you can hardly see out of it. You look closely at these pictures and notice that they have words on them like "ENGINE," "TRANSMISSION," "FUEL SYSTEM," and "IGNITION SYSTEM."

Still the car has not started. The owner's manual says that you should now take your mouse (stored in the center console) and start activating all these systems by double clicking on each one of them. So you do.

After about 5-6 minutes since you first turned on the key, the engine in your Microsoft Rocket sputters to life.

Slowly you pull away, and everything seems normal as you cruise down the street. You decide to turn on the dealer installed radio. As soon as you turn it on, the engine dies, all four wheels lock up, and the car screeches to a halt. A message pops up on the windshield and says:

"System Conflict: An unknown accessory has been installed. You should turn off all systems and restart your automobile. Contact manufacturer of accessory and ask him what he did wrong. Do not contact Microsoft, nothing is our fault."

So you turn off the radio and start over.

Soon after this, you are again cruising down the road. Up ahead, you see a stopped school bus. So you take your mouse, and move the cursor on the HUD to the menu item that says "TOOLS."

Clicking on that item, a drop down menu drops down, and lists several items, one of which is "VEHICLE CONTROL SYSTEMS."

You click on that, and several other menu items come up, one of which is labeled "BRAKES." But "BRAKES" is in gray letters, not black, and you have this sickening feeling that you forgot to turn this feature on.

So you quickly hit the escape key and move the cursor to "SETUP." A few more quick clicks and you see the menu item called "ACTIVATE BRAKES." Just as you are about to hit the mouse button, you hit the bus.

 

 
 

 

 

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