Penis Promotion Request:

The Penis requests a promotion and a raise for the following reasons:
• has to work hard
• has to work at great depths
• has to work upside down
• has no ventilation or air conditioned work environment
• has to work in a high humidity environment
• has to work at high temperatures
• does not get weekends and holidays off
• does not get time off after extra hours of work
• has a hazardous work environment that often causes illness


Management Reply:
Request denied ------- for the following reasons:
• does not work 8 hours straight during any work period
• does not answer immediately to all requests
• co-workers often unsatisfied by job performance
• after a short activity period, falls asleep
• shows no evidence of fidelity at the workplace
• works better alone than with others
• does not work at all unless pushed from behind
• does not leave the workplace clean after finishing work
• sometimes leaves work too early