The Perfect Woman would say:

1. I’ll swallow it all . . . I love the taste.

2. Are you sure you’ve had enough to drink?

3. I’m bored. Let’s shave my fanny.

4. Oh come on, what do ya say we get a good porn film,a crate of beer, and have my friend over for a threesome?

5. God. if I don’t get to blow you soon, I’ll kill myself!

6. I know it’s a lot tighter back there but would you please try again?

7. You’re so sexy when you’re hung over.

8. I’d rather watch you and your mates watch sport and serve the beers to you than go shopping.

9. Let’s subscribe to the Porn channels.

10. Would you like to watch me go down on my girlfriend?

11. Let’s go shopping so you can look at women’s arses

12. I love it when you play football on Saturday, I just wish you had time to play on Sunday too.

13. Darling, our new neighbour’s daughter is sunbathing naked again, come see!

14.I’ve decided to stop wearing clothes around the house.

15. Do me a favour, forget the stupid Valentine’s day thing and buy yourself new gadgets.

16. That was a great fart! Do another one!

17. I signed up for yoga so that I can get my ankles behind my head for you.

18. Of course you can go on a lads holiday to Kavos.

19. Your ex is sooo nice. What a figure she has..........