Here are the new words which have been added to the 2004 version of the
dictionary.
Abra-Kebabra:
A magic act performed on Saturday night, where fast food vanishes down the
performer's throat, and then shortly afterwards, it suddenly reappears on
the taxi floor.
Aussie Kiss:
Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.
Back End of the Batmobile:
The state of your Brass Eye soon after you eat a really hot curry. "I had
a Ring Stinger in the Benghazi restaurant last night, and now I've got a
dose of Gandhi's Revenge. My arse feels like the back end of the
Batmobile."
Beaver Leaver or Vagina Decliner:
A homosexual.
Beer Coat:
The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at
3 in the morning.
Beer Compass:
The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after a booze
cruise, even though you're too pissed to remember where you live, how you
get there, and where you've come from.
BOBFOC:
Body Off Baywatch, Face Off Crimewatch.
Boiler Suit:
The prosecution charge that you did wilfully, and with phallus
aforethought, score with a Bobfoc last night. This charge is usually
brought by a kangaroo court of your friends in the pub on Saturday night.
Bone of Contention:
A hard-on that causes an argument. e.g. one that arises when a man is
watching Olympic beach volleyball on TV with his girlfriend.
Breaking the Seal:
Your 1st piss in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After
breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be
required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.
Budgie's Tongue or Small Man In A Boat or Tongue Punchbag:
The female erection.
BVH:
Blue-Veined Hooligan. The 1-eyed skinhead.
Cider Visor:
Beer Goggles for the young drinker.
Cliterature:
1-handed reading material.
Cock-A-Doodle-Poo:
The bowel movement that, needing to come out urgently, wakes you up in the
morning to get to the toilet quick.
Crappuccino:
The particularly frothy type of diarrhoea that you get when abroad.
Double Bass:
A sexual position in which the man enters the woman from behind, and then
fiddles with the woman's nipples with one hand and her Budgie's Tongue
with the other. The position is similar to that used when playing a double
bass instrument, but the sound produced is slightly different.
Etch-A-Sketch:
Trying to draw a smile on a woman's face by twiddling both of her nipples
simultaneously.
Fizzy Gravy or Rusty Water:
Diarrhoea.
Flogging On:
Surfing the Internet for some left-handed websites.
Free the Tadpoles:
Liberate the residents of Wank Tanks.
Frigmarole:
Unnecessarily time-consuming foreplay.
FuckShitFuckShitFuckShit:
The sound made when driving through too narrow a gap at too high a speed.
Going For a McShit:
Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you're
just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff member, your
declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is a McShit With
Lies.
Greyhound:
A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.
Hand-to-Gland Combat:
A vigorous masturbation session.
Hefty Cleft or Horse's Collar or Welly Top:
Description of a very large vagina.
McSplurry:
The type of bowel movement you experience after dining for a week in fast
food restaurants.
Millennium Domes:
The contents of a Wonderbra. i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from
the outside, but there's actually fuck-all in there worth seeing.
Monkey Bath:
A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: "Oo! Oo! Oo! Aa!
Aa! Aa!".
Mystery Bus:
The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet
after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the
pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.
Mystery Taxi:
The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake
up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your
bed instead.
NBR:
No Beers Required. Someone that you'd chat up instantly in the pub. The
opposite of a 10-Pinter.
Picasso Arse:
A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's got
4 buttocks.
Sperm Wail or Spuphemism:
A verbal outburst during the male orgasm.
Starfish Trooper or Arsetronaut:
A homosexual.
10-Pinter:
Someone that you'd only chat up after drinking at least 10 pints.
2-Bagger:
Someone that you'd need 2 paper bags to have sex with. (1 to cover their
head, and 1 to cover yours, in case their bag falls off.)
Titanic:
A lady who goes down first time out.
Todger Dodger:
A lesbian.
Wank Seance:
During a masturbation session, the eerie feeling that you're being watched
with disgust by your dead relatives.
X-Piles:
Unwanted visitors from Uranus.
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