Two gay chaps, Rupert and Lionel, are walking through London Zoo one day when they come across the "Rwandan Silverback Gorilla" cage. Sitting upright just inside the bars is an eight foot muscle-bound Silverback gorilla. Rupert, being gay as you like, can't help but notice its massive, thick penis hanging there.

"Ooooooh...Look at the donger on him, Lionel!" squeals Rupert excitedly, "I've never had one that size in my hand before!" Unable to contain himself, he reaches through the bars and strokes the apple-sized bell end of the ape.

Lionel tries to pull his boy-friend away but it's too late – the gorilla's shovel-like hands grasp Rupert's wrist and yank him through the bars, into the cage.

Lionel screams in a gay fashion as Rupert is dragged into the gorilla's bamboo hut. Whilst in there, Rupert is subjected to a very very very rough bout of anal sex with the Silverback. Lionel covers his ears to lock Rupert's screams and runs to get help.

It takes three and a half hours for the Zoo staff to lure the ape out and fire a tranquillising dart at its arse. They call an ambulance and Rupert is rushed to hospital for major ring-piece surgery.

A few days later Lionel decides to visit his gay pal Rupert in hospital, as he hears that he's regained consciousness. Rupert is in bed crying his eyes out when Lionel walks in.

"How are you feeling darling?" asks Lionel quietly.

"Awful!" whimpers Rupert. "That f**king gorilla shagged my arse rotten!"

"Does it hurt?" asks Lionel.

"HURT?" replies Rupert, tears rolling down his cheeks. "HURT? . . . .HE HASN'T CALLED, HE HASN'T WRITTEN, HE HASN'T SENT FLOWERS . . . . OF COURSE IT BLOODY HURTS!"