1. Take off clothes while sitting on edge of bed & leave in pile on floor.

2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake knob at her making the "woo" sound.

3. Look at manly physique in mirror & suck in gut to see if you have pecs (no). Admire size of knob in mirror, scratch "privates" and smell fingers for one last whiff.

4. Get in shower.

5. Don't bother to look for any washcloth (you don't use them).

6. Wash face.

7. Wash armpits.

8. Crack up at how loud fart sounds in shower.

9. Wash privates & surrounding area.

10. Wash butt, leaving hair on the soap bar.

11. Shampoo hair (never use conditioner).

12. Make a shampoo Mohawk.

13. Pull back shower curtain and look at yourself in mirror.

14. Pee (in shower).

15. Rinse off & get out of shower. Fail to notice water on floor (because left curtain hanging out of tub).

16. Partially dry off.

17. Look at yourself in mirror, flex muscles. Admire knob size again.

18. Leave shower curtain scrunched up (so it can not dry properly) & wet bath mat on floor.

19. Leave bathroom fan & light on.

20. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife on the way, pull off towel, grab knob & say "Yeah baby" whilst thrusting pelvis at her.