Google
Web geoffcooper.co.uk

Check out my new book: Windows for the InXPerienced

 

Truth In Advertising.

As all you lonely hearts go about searching the personal ads for the special
Valentine's romance, please keep the following handy reference guide in mind.

The real meaning behind the abbreviations in personal ads:

Ads From Women
40-ish..................................................48
Adventurer.........................................Has had more partners than you ever will
Athletic................................................Flat chested
Average looking..................................UGLY
Beautiful ..............................................Pathological liar
Contagious Smile................................ Bring your penicillin
Educated...............................................College dropout
Emotionally Secure............................Medicated
Feminist................................................Fat,ball buster
Free Spirit..........................................Substance user
Friendship First.................................Trying to live down reputation as a slut
Fun.........................................................Annoying
Gentle....................................................Comatose
Goodlistener.........................................Borderline Autistic
New Age.............................................. All body hair, all the time
Old-Fashioned.....................................Lights out, missionary position only
Open-minded........................................Desperate
Outgoing................................................Loud
Passionate.............................................Loud
Professional..........................................Real Bitch
Reubenesque.........................................Grossly fat
Romance.................................................Looks better by candle light
Voluptuous............................................Very Fat
Weight Proportional to Height.........Hugely Fat
Wants Soulmate...................................One step away from stalking
Widow....................................................Nagged first husband to death
Young at Heart.....................................Toothless crone

The Male Side Of The List
40-ish....................................................52 and looking for 25-yr-old
Athletic.................................................Sits on the couch and watches ESPN
Average Looking.................................Unusual hair growth on ears,nose, & back
Educated..............................................Will always treat you like an idiot
Free Spirit..........................................Sleeps with your sister
Friendship First.................................As long as Friendship involves Nudity
Fun.........................................................Good with a remote and a six pack
Good looking........................................Arrogant
Honest...................................................Pathological Liar
Huggable...............................................Overweight, More Body hair than a bear
Likes to cuddle....................................Insecure,overly dependent
Mature..................................................Until you get to know him
Open-minded..........Wants to sleep with your sister but she's not interested
Physically fit......I spent a lot of time in front of a mirror admiring my self
Poet.......................................................Has written on a bathroom stall
Spiritual..........Once went to church with his grandmother on Easter Sunday
Stable....................................................Occasional Stalker, but never arrested
Thoughtful............................................Says "Please" when demanding a beer
 

 
 

 

 

Site Powered by phphosted.com

Home  Mythology  Maps  Weather  All About Paphos  Stuff to do  About us  Geoff's Stuff
Janice's Stuff Weddings  Contacts  Sitemap  Search